Running On Empty

[ruhn-ing awn emp-tee]: “Running On Empty” is a popular metaphor for being exhausted, but the phrase had a much more literal meaning for Browne when it came to him. Browne wrote it while he was driving back and forth to the studio each day to make his album The Pretender. He told Rolling Stone: “I was always driving around with no gas in the car, I just never bothered to fill up the tank because – how far was it anyway? Just a few blocks.”

I wish there was a class for children that taught them how to talk on the phone. It reminds me of when people are polite and are waving their hands in circular motions while responding:

“Aha…ok…aha” as they hold their phone to their ear.

This is what it feels like to have a conversation with a child except they just leave the phone on the table and walk away.

Wouldn’t it be fun to just be rude all the time? To tell people what they really think of them?

I do not know if I am the nicest person on Earth. I cannot think of a lot of people I adore (except you that is reading this – you are totally fantastic).

People except for my wife and my ex wife call me on the phone. I do not have your number. So no one is calling from both sides of the fence.

I am a really awful friend. I am not the one you run to when their are in a crisis. I am not the one that comes over for dinner for the most part (with like one group of friend exception).

I see myself as someone that wishes they were eccentric. Someone that had some odd talent like playing the guitar or was a genius at writing that sat here all hold up in a room working on the latest song or hottest topic.

Instead I am the one that is inspired. I listen to something and it makes me want to talk about it.

I thought about this song when I started to write just now because it made me think of leaving me daughter this morning. How empty it feels when I have to say goodbye for another long week without her here.

Normally I go to work straight after, but today I am home and it feels like an empty shell.

It’s not leaving someone that is one of your best friends.

You see how odd it all is. It is not as I go to her with my problems or talk about how my day is, but we hang out. We sit in the same room, we watch a movie every Friday night and laugh together.

We go to the movies and to McDonalds on Saturdays. I call her. We talk on the phone. Ok, she throws the phone down after 2 minutes and I get jealous she can talk to my ex for 5.

I get jealous about my ex. My daughter always runs to her when it is the three of us. I hate going to the doctors, or the dentist because I know that she is going to hang all over my ex and I will not be in the room on a chair, but standing on the doorway next to the jackets.

Sometimes it is lonely loosing your friend.

My wife is my best friend. Her I tell everything to. When I feel bad, it is her I go to. I tell her what is bugging me, what hurts and what is on my mind.

My family are friends. I call them up for a chat now and then.

BUT the rest of you, we never talk on the phone. I am not the person with my earphones shouting to someone on the phone while rolling my cart through the supermarket.

You never chat with me to ask how it is going or likewise from my side. Instead you re the one I have small talk in the locker room or in the elevator.

I am a bit anti-social. I spend my days in front of my computer writing when I have a free second, or I watch TV… or I go to work.

I think about music groups. A gang of people that hang out making music. Being a wannabe writer is a lonely job.

First you do not know if anyone is reading or even cares about what you are writing, the other is that you are lost in your own thoughts. You are rethinking everything over and over and over again.

And then you know how lame things are going to be. Sometimes you can write an excellent speech, and then the next you are in a vortex of various babbling about nothing.

All you want is feedback. For everything.

They should teach children to talk on the phone better, at least you would know what is happening at school, what they ate for lunch and who they played with and above all what did they get for Christmas.

I have one of my cats at least. He is a bad friend. He just looks out the window all the time and stares into nothingness. You let him go outside on the balcony and he stares into the apartment. He is not the brightest soul.  Trying to eat our one Christmas decoration.

He’s a friend of mine. The guy that would throw the phone down and walk away if I called.

I would probably be that guy too.

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