Knowing Me Knowing You

[noh-ing mee noh-ing yoo]: Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA came up with this song at a time when the relationships within the group were strained, and his lyric reflect that. Said Ulvaeus: “I think I wrote ‘Knowing Me Knowing You’ before the divorce. In many ways, Agnetha and my divorce was an amicable one, we just grew apart and decided let’s split up. Benny and Frida’s was a little more difficult. It was not a happy time but still very creative.”

 

The House That God Has Forgotten Part 21: Who are you? The entire list so far.

There are many people that line the corridors at The House That God Has Forgotten every floor has one (or many) I wrote one list, but there are so many that I had to do two. Now is a collection of all the ones so far. Who are you?

Mean Girls (which are also mean boys): these are the people that exclude, harass and close off themselves to outsiders. They arrange their schedules to make sure they are at the same place at the same place at the same time, and no these mean girls are just not at one place. They exist everywhere.

The mean girls do not hang out in one big group, they hang out on their own mean girls forming sub cliques from each floor. So if you are a mean girl on this floor, then you hate the mean girls on the other floor because you are not as good as the mean girls on your floor.

The Victims: If you are new..95% chance you are a “victim”. People have lost the interest to teach you. The time has come that there are so many new of you that bitterness and lack of caring because you will “leave anyway” exists there under the surface. Besides that, you are making a lot more money the first week you started working than some of who have been working for over 10 years at the same job.

The Doing My Own Race:  These are the people that do their own thing. They have their job, and do not care what everyone else thinks. They usually know a remarkable amount of how things function on their floor and do not care what others think. They live in their own world, their own functioning little world where they have opinions. Some are vocal and defiant, while others have just silence and well… do what they do… getting the job done.

The Follower:  This is the emulator, the stalker. The one that follows in the steps of another like them.  The mini me. The wanna be tough guy that tries to seem tough, but no one ever takes serious.

The Nice Guys aka. Stuck in the Middle: These are the people that are not bullied and liked by everyone. The one that they say is so nice and sweet. Every floor has one, every one is like a unicorn.

The Cheerleaders: These are the people with smiles on their faces all the time that no matter what the situation is they are always willing to make excuses for inmates. “He was sleeping when we woke him for promenade.. can’t you wait 20 minutes later when he wakes up?”

The Freaks and Geeks: You never see them because they hide in rooms where no one sees them. They live in a world where you are not allowed to go in, but they get to watch you. The control room.

The Middle Men: Everyone would like to think they are one of these, but they are not. These are the status quo. The ones that go to work and go home and do not make such a big deal much about the drama around them.

The Fighter: Every floor has one in The House That God Has Forgotten. They are hard to miss. You are the ones that hear them screaming up and down the corridor. Something is wrong and nothing is ever right. You my friends are victims of this guy. The mumblings that coffee is not ready in the morning when they have arrived, or that the way you send out those trays of foot or fill those thermos are all wrong. You can never be done right by them. They will eat you alive but keep the rest of the group together because they all have one idea in their head “us against him (or her)”

The Lost Ones: They have no clue what is going on and yes every floor has one. This is the group that really has no idea what is going on around them even though you have tried to teach them. They are the ones that have the nicknames and the ones that everyone rolls their eyes at when they go bumbling down the corridor. “Don’t open up two doors at the same time!” “You should not promise anything to a prisoner you cannot deliver!” Yet they keep doing it anyway, no matter how many times you tell them. You will never win.

The Gym Rats: Shaker in hand they drink protein like it grows on trees. The use their lunch to hit the gym and all they can talk about is their workout. “Did you do legs today?” “What did you train today?” they ask each other with wide eyes enthusiasm. You hear the sounds of the shakers sloshing water and mixing the latest drink they bought off line. You hear the crack of the low carb energy drink early in the morning to get them going.

The Sleepy Eyed: These are the ones that are always tired. They have a yawn written on their face all the time. They are tired. Tired from not sleeping, or just tired from being tired. You can ask them the same question over and over again, but you always get the same response: “How are you? You look tired today.” And with a half open eye they will answer you “Yes. I am very tired.”

The Resigned: These are the people that have given up a long time ago. They are not only tired, but also fed up. They see no point in throwing out cardboard boxes to inmates and asking them like a flight attendant if they are interested in coffee or tea anymore. They hate their job, but something keeps them pulled to it. Maybe it is the feeling of not having to decide what to wear to work each day before work (it is pretty comfortable to have a uniform). Maybe because there is nothing out there, or they are too lazy to find it, but they will stomp those floor until the day they get that golden retirement, that little gold watch after 30 years or both.

The Fuzzy Bunnies: Does it smell like muffins here? Yes, everything smells so delicious and inviting here. I would in this case say that they are not spread out over the house, or are you? You are sitting there reading this, and thinking of one place in The House That God Has Forgotten and I honestly did the same thing. Then I realised that every floor has this one. They all bake on the weekend’s right? It has much more to do with baking however. It is the people that really enjoy sitting there talking, playing Uno or shooting the shit, the ones that can play countless games on the old PlayStation or Badminton in the high school like gym.  They lurk around the corner, they are longing for that pass that no one else wants. They are your fuzzy bunnies.

The Säk Nerds: These are the people that are obsessed with security. They wear their pepper spray and batons on their sides like a sheriff in a western film. They ride the corridors with their right hands resting on that baton. Legs spread shoulder width. They watch everyone. They write reports and are the first ones that will sign up to search someone. They check that the doors are locked and they also will let everyone know what it says in the security handbook. They know words like Qsäk and ISAP and other short acronyms for things that go way beyond a novice mind.

The Paper Pushers: The ones that love to have control of all of the countless mess that exists in the federal government. They dream of the sound of the fax machine in their little sleeping heads (note: Yes… we still use fax machines). They know how to work the fax machine. This is something I honestly can barely manage. They can walk around with a pile of paperwork and tell you what prisoner it belongs to. “Yes he did as for his shoes on January 13 at approximately 14.03” can spill from their lips like it comes out of sheer natural behaviour.

The Social Worker: Ok I touched on this earlier on another blog post, but this is a different phenomenon that exists in The House That God Has Forgotten. These are the people that absolutely love to sit and learn everything about the prisoners on their floor. They interview and they do it will diligence. They are called “contact person” for a reason you know. They are the ones that secretly dream and long of being probation officers in their sweaters and bohemian skirts, or the many sweater vest and jeans.

The Puddle Jumpers: The people looking at your floor as though it is a place to take a leg up and move on to bigger and better things: The administration corridor. They try and try to get a job their over the summer. Or for that matter they do have a job there over the summer. They want off your floor and will use whatever power they have to get there. Some make it, others live in a sea of turn downs and disappointment.

The Ping Pong effectors: These are the people that move like a ping pong between floors. Why is this so? I have no idea. It comes down to a lot of “They do not fit in here, so we send them to another floor” but where do the ones do with the people they get dumped on them? They just have to take it. Some floors more than others. Then you have the people that choose to change floors. Usually because of sheer and utterly need of getting away from where they are at the moment. Trying something new sometimes gives them the chance to stay at the new place, other times it makes you remember how good you had it where you were to begin with.

The Surfers: Laid back people that are along for the ride. They let nothing bother them. Waiting for the elevator too long? No problem. Someone yelling about something over and over in their room about nothing? No problem. Nothing is a problem.

The I Can’t Sit Still For 5 Seconds: These people always have to be doing something, and everything they do goes at lighting speed. They will arrange the close closet to an extreme and anal retentative way that if you make it the least bit out of order they will kill you.

The Flexers: They do not have shifts and they walk around with phones in their ears and are always carrying paper in their hands. They do not have to grind the floor all have their own desk. Headsets, and we never see them. They are the people working on the administration floor or are even our bosses that we also know have phones, but rarely answer them. 

The Techs: Black uniforms and tools on their belts, they change locks, they replace lamps and generally run around everywhere fixing everything (which is a lot) that is broken in The House That God Has Forgotten. 

The Perfectionist: Everything has to be done in a certain way. Be it the way you put that trash bag in the cap of the thermos to how you deal out them. You do not fill out that paper the wrong way. You do not dare follow their system, or there is hell to pay… in epic proportions. 

The Gossip: Want to know what is going on in The House That God Has Forgotten? These are the people you ask. They will give you all the information you are looking for. The sad thing is that most of it is true. Word travels fast in The House That God Has Forgotten.

The Backstabber: Nice to your face. Wants you to trust them and the second they can they will run to the gossip and tell them anything. They will make sure all your dirty laundry is everywhere.

The Joker: The person that loves to show you tons of YouTube clips of things they think are really funny, but you don’t think they are. You still have to pretend to like them when you watch them, because well… we are in Sweden after all.

The Hero: A few of you still exist out there. You know who you are.

The Smoker: Lurking outside in the morning and at lunch chain smoking cancer sticks in the cold of winter. Some of them you can see sneaking out to get one in during the middle of the day.

Me: Social but anti social woman that enjoys writing in her free time. Often to be seen lurking in the elevators and trying to get over the awkward silence that fills within them, She has been here since The House That God Has Forgotten opened and she knows all and sees all.

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