Bara få vara mig själv

[ba`ra få va`ra mig själv]: Before the single was released Laleh worked as a producer and songwriter in the USA.

 

The House That God Has Forgotten Part 26: No more Nära Nils.

Today is a sad day in the department of Swedish corrections. Our general director has gotten a new job, and yes I am being sarcastic about the fact he is leaving us.

“The king is dead” is what is going on through everyones minds today.

Why you ask? Because our state run government entity has been run into the ground.

What I personally wonder is what will the new blog be called? I like the name “Nära Nils” it was so catchy. It rolled of your tongue. It was like magic that blog.

And all of the bullshit propaganda it comes with.

I myself have never read it. It scares me, and besides that… I know that it is some based on insanity dribble about nothing I am in the slightest bit interested in.

To be honest the only thing I read on that local internet is “Free jobs” and how to order new uniforms and name tags.

Otherwise I am completely uninterested.

I just do not care about what is happening with this little bus “Coming to a shopping center near you” that begs people to be my colleague that will make more money than me. Actually if anything it makes me want to slit my wrists (not literally if you read my last post, I am not serious) that they are recruited from a bus.

Who gets a job from a bus. We had something from the USA when I was a kid called a “book mobile” it was a little mini bus you could borrow books from the library in it so people would read more. But never a bus to hire people.

I would love to drive that bus however. Just for the entertainment value.

Why in the hell am I working in the control center of The House That God Has Forgotten instead of driving (or riding in) the special bus.

Imagine sampling food from different food courts across this fabulous nation. It would be heaven.

Plus to get the chance to watch people try to beg strangers to take a job I had to fight for a place in seems like fun.

If I could only leave the control center at The House That God Has Forgotten and be a bus driver.

I have had another secret dream job. I have always wanted to write in “Om Krim” magazine. I think it would be fun to have my own little area I could write my little thoughts in. It can be called “Calandra’s Corner” which could reflect on the interesting things that exist everywhere.

I could go undercover and have different names for each place. The House That God Has Forgotten, The Jail Where Cousins Date Each Other, The Prison Where Everyone In The Family Works At.. Each month an exciting new article about what I think.

Because my opinion matters so much right? I mean you read it, so at least you and the four other would care about what I had to say.

Or… if Calandra’s Corner is out of the question, I could always phone in articles about generals bullshit that they write about now. How they are working on this program, how this group of people do this or that.

However when I get mine in the mail I just look in the back to see if I know anyone that is retiring… otherwise I throw the thing away.

I hope you would not do the same.

If  I only leave the control center at The House That God Has Forgotten and write.

I could be a boss. I could sit in meetings or do anything I could to avoid seeing their workers. I could sometimes read mail, and sometimes even answer it if I feel like it.

I could plan and listen to things at meetings and try to keep myself awake as they talk about things no one is allowed to hear.

I could learn everything I ever wanted to know about what happens at The House That God Has Forgotten.

I could learn if they talk about us during those meetings. If they go through the people that stay out of the norm or are trouble makers. I myself wonder how my blog got leaked to them.

I would pay to hear that conversation. I would literally lay down cash to hear how that conversation went down.

I could approve or deny vacation at the last minute.

I could walk around with a telephone and could see who actually calls it.

They should have a day like the “Take your kid to work day” and then I could be the kid and follow them for a day. Then maybe I would not want to be a boss, but I think it would be fun.

I would try to change things at least.

If I only leave the control center at The House That God Has Forgotten and become a boss.

I wish I could work at Med Help and see if people actually call it and what they say.

Do people actually ring that telephone number that gets covered up by papers that are more important than that one is. Is it the number people wait to be alone to write down so they can call at home and talk to someone?

I think I called it once a long time ago when I was really sick and talked to a psychologist, but I do not remember (I have talked to so many of them).

Do people cry and talk about deep stuff, or does that sad operator assigned to The Department of Corrections sit there and watch Netflix all day just silently longing for someone to call them on the phone to talk?

Headset over their heads just waiting…

If I only leave the control center at The House That God Has Forgotten and become an operator at the med help hotline.

I wish they would send me to the regional offices to be in charge of some program like “livspondus” something I could spend my days doing that really do not require a days working.

I could come up with things and pretend that they are important. Order pens that say “livspondus” and create a binder with what should be taught.

I could steal a program from Canada (like they do with all programs) and talk on the phone with them and make new friends.

I could get paid a lot more money for doing a lot less.

If I only leave the control center at The House That God Has Forgotten and become responsible for a project no one cares about.

I wish I could be in charge. That I could be the big man on campus. The yes, I could be the general director.

That I could make decisions that make the workers on the bottom of the food chain suffer.

That I could decide that people can live below the level of inflation and that the budget got ran into the ground.

That I thought it would be a good idea to pay 15.000 kronor for an office chair and even more for a desk.

That people do not need overtime to pay their bills anymore.

That people have more work to do, more prisoners and less people to do the job they need to get to make it happen.

That I am never there to talk to people and ask them “How does it feel to work here? Do you get everything to get your job done?”

That I could raise my workers pay checks instead of buying that bus I want to drive, or writing that “Nära Nils”without not being close to what we want him to be close to, us.

That I could get people more help, more people that want to stay at their jobs.

I am tired of watching the good people leave where they work to other jobs.

That I could change jobs and hope that they do not have the same problems we do.

If only leave the control center at The House God Has Forgotten and can become the general director.

There are many jobs I should be doing, but instead I am working in the control center,

Instead I guess I will “bara få vara mig själv” , but that job as a writer is something I am pretty serious about. That would be the best job ever.

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