[teluh-fohn]: The actor Tyrese Gibson plays Beyoncé’s boyfriend in the video. Åkerlund told MTV News: “He was kind enough to help us out. Luckily he was in L.A. and he was up for it. It’s hard to get actors to be in videos. It’s not always as challenging and rewarding as they’re used to.”‘

The House That God Has Forgotten part 55: Fun at security checks.

I woke up this morning and did not want to go to work again today. I really am tired of The House That God Has Forgotten. I know I write about this in every blog post, but this is what is going on in my life.

Today a colleague and I sat there at the security checks and tried to convince him to go and start looking for a new job.

“You have a degree…why on Earth are you working here?”

“I guess I am comfortable.”

It’s so easy to fall into that hole at The House That God Has Forgotten; comfortable deluxe.

I finally learned what is happening in Lebanon. That was a big step for me to ask;

“Hey! What is going on there?”

This proves my ignorance has grown to new proportions. I really have no idea what is going around me lately. I live in my own little bubble.

“How long are you under investigation?”

“I do not know. I still have not received a protocol.”

Apparently, my fate is not such a high priority in The House That God Has Forgotten. Which is no problem for me. I can drag this out however long it can take. I have no plans to run and sign the thing either. I have to keep my ass in check and make sure that they do not screw me over.

I am trying to eat healthier which seems to be fun. Limit my portions and what not. My stomach growls as I write this. All I want is a piece of dark chocolate with a touch of sea salt that is sitting in the refrigerator calling my name.

So what is new? There is this certain couple that gets on my nerves. They when they are alone in the elevator (we see you) are all over each other. All going to each other’s floors and having baby eyes at each other.

Highly unprofessional. This is a place of work right? I wonder why they are never called into the office for how they act, but I get the worst interrogation over human error?

As my father always used to say; “Life is unfair”.

Then there is this other couple they eat lunch with every day. I like to call it the “double date” when they come into security checks one pair after the other. What happens (if/when) these couples break up? It will be entertaining to watch them avoid each other with the exact level of enthusiasm they have when they are together.

I was together with someone at The House That God Has Forgotten in 2011. We tried to keep it low key. Luckily she dumped me after she has quit. Otherwise, it would have been awkward to see her in the cameras all day at work.

Couples at work. Couples at The House That God Has Forgotten rarely work. Of course, there is that one or two that make it, but there is a trail of broken hearts that pave the way instead.

I am glad that I married someone that has absolutely nothing to do with The House That God Has Forgotten or my job for that matter (she does not even read my blog!). It is nice to not have to talk about the same people we know or the latest drama.

I can say working at security checks all day (my new form of entertainment) gives you a new perspective on human behaviour. Like the people that look for that sign of approval when they clear the metal detector (you do this every day, do you need to feel so proud about it). Or the ones that forget to take off their nametag and instead empty their pockets filled with paper (it is a metal detector not a paper scanner) when it is their nametag that goes off.

I see what it is that goes off before you do. I am just a bastard and I don’t tell you because it amuses me to watch you go in and out 50 times until you discover it was your nametag you had on.

The people that come in and out with their mobile phones 50 times a day, but still forget how to make the code come up we need to check. It just shows me how little bosses know.

Maybe it is not their fault they know so little about what we do. Putting in those digits in their phone to bring up a code seems a challenge.

There is the woman that every time she comes in shows me her id tag even though she knows that I know who she is.

The warden came in with a bowl of red grapes today. She did not offer me one, but I was not sad about it either. It is good to see that she has healthy snacks.

One boss came in with two fancy cakes from the local bakery. I do not know if they were for her people, or if it was for the bosses. My guess is for the second.

One of the bosses had her keys on when she tried to come through the metal detector. She took them off and laid them by her stuff that already went through the x-ray machine. I made her put those through the x-ray too. Just because I can.

I know who eats lunch with who. I know who is friendly and says hello and who never says hello and tries to avoid eye contact with me.

Some people have tons of shit on their belts. I never understood why they do that. Other people have nothing but a “big fish” which reminds me of a cartoon for a restaurant that sold fish at home in the states. I always think of that than ripping off something from an inmate that has hung himself.

It is amazing the people studies you can do down there. Don’t even get me started on the people that come in to leave money. One guy smelled like he drank a litre of vodka. One of my colleagues said:

“Well it is Thursday after all”

It was funny.

Security checks can be fun if you let them be. You make them fun to watch. So please drop your nametag behind the machine, lay your paper out on the x-ray tray instead of your nametag, come in with your partner and try to pretend you are discreet (or in some couples case not pretend), take forever to push in that telephone code and come with cake and make me wonder who it is for.

Or even come in with grapes that you do not share. Remember I did not want one anyway.

This was my day at The House That God Has Forgotten.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s