Road To Nowhere

[rohd too noh-hwair]: The song was released as a single in 1985 and reached No. 25 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Tracks chart and No. 6 in the British, German and South African singles charts. It also made No. 8 on the Dutch Top 40.

The House That God Has Forgotten part 57: Burning down the house.

How did I end up here? Is a question I often ask myself as I walk into the doors of The House That God Has Forgotten. No one ever decides that when they were little kids that they want to be a corrections officer (that is if you are normal in the head). I wanted to be a waitress when I was five, but that was because there was a TV show about waitresses on, and they always looked like they were having fun.

Little did I know until I got older that they make no money, and well then shortly later I decided that I wanted to be a journalist. How on Earth did I go from wanting to be a journalist? It all goes back to me wanting to write the great American novel.

I went to the university in a small town in Texas fulled with cowboys, had a scholarship and a job writing for the university newspaper. I had a lot of friends, and the year after even more scholarships, but I decided to quit and join the army.

I sat in one of my favourite professor’s office and she asked me…”Why do you want to go to the army?”

I replied dead serious; “I want to write the great American novel”. An answer she seemed quite pleased with.

I went into the army, had a million different experiences and met a ton of interesting people, characters. Events. Things I saw and wish I did not see. I had a ton of material.

Then I spent 8 years making little or no money, to write the great American novel.

Sometimes I came a long way. First chapters completed, 70 typed pages here and there. They all became files thrown into the trash because I am my biggest critic. Nothing satisfies me.

Then I got married for the second time and put writing on the shelf. I started working, and then eventually ended up at The House That God Has Forgotten.

From the first day, it started to now, 8 years later. Oh, the things I have seen. Oh, the things I could have written, or the things I have written about in this blog.

While sitting at this kitchen table this morning I sat there and starte to write, but still after one page is unsatisfied. I always find excuses to not be able to write, or just not feel like what I am writing about is important enough, or interesting enough for people to read.

You are sitting here reading this now, wondering what I am going to write about next, what is going on through my head at the moment.

I found out that this year 60 people have quit working at The House That God Has Forgotten. In the past year! The number is insane. The number really makes my head explode, and it probably does yours too.

That is a lot of fucking people! What does that tell you about what is happening there? Is it the bosses? Is it the pay? Or is it just that they decided that they would go back to the job they wish they had when they were younger…like I wish would happen to me.

I would be lying to you if I said I did not want to write an article about life here in The House That God Has Forgotten and send it away to get published. That I would love to see my name as a bi-line somewhere on some magazine or some internet newspaper. It would be me living out my dream, being a writer.

How can we work at a place where everyone quits at such an alarming rate and no one knows about it? How dare I keep it secret. I talk all the time about how you should bang your hands on the table and demand change, yet I have my keyboard and my Mac and can actually do what I tell you, people, to do.

But there is a fear inside of me (a fear I do not know why I have) that I will do something wrong, but I know everything I do is right.

Like I said, no one dreams of being a corrections officer right? We all just fall into this profession because we are lazy, and we stay at The House That God Has Forgotten because we are lazy.

I do not have any people reading this blog that got picked up in one of those busses that work with us, I do not have people that I do not know that well added on my facebook that read this. That is up to you if you share it…but I think sometimes my voice needs to be heard, our voice needs to be heard.

So I am seriously thinking about writing that article and publishing it on here and seeing what I can do with it. Maybe it would be fun, maybe it would be me getting my dream back of being a journalist.

Some people tell me I should not be so critical about our bosses, or that I need to not alienate people…but it is hard when you see what is going on and you do not say anything about it.

it is hard for me not to be able to keep my mouth shut. I feel like I am someone that cannot do that, I am sorry, but I did not want to be a corrections officer when I grew up. Judging from how I write lately, I do not want to be one at all.

I don’t know if this post makes any sense to you why you are reading this…I guess I am out looking for answers about what I should do really…do I do this? Do I show you what I write and let you see what you think? Or do I keep it hidden so only I can see?

A million questions to ask and response needed…do you want to see the article?

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