[in mahy hous]: MTV aired the video, something they didn’t do for Rick James clips, and a big reason his other projects (including Eddie Murphy’s “Party All the Time”) charted higher than his solo material.
The House That God Has Forgotten Part 59: Lost of inspiration.
My daughter is bouncing off the walls. She has been sick for the past three days and then was off for the weekend. Too much time at home from school for her, never enough time for me to be away from The House That God Has Forgotten. I would rather lie in my bed half dead than have to go in there.
So now legos are spread all over the floor and some children’s cartoon is on television. If I drank coffee I would have a cup of it next to me, but I don’t so water will have to do.
I always have a guilty conscious when it comes to my daughter. I feel like because my ex does it, that I need to entertain her all the time. My wife says it is good for children to be bored. Then that way they have to find things to do to entertain themselves. Luckily I have the dog today, so we are stuck at home while my wife goes to a meeting. So she has her legos and her television today, and I have my computer and am writing with you.
Have you ever seen someone or had a moment with someone (mostly bad in my case) that every time you see a picture that you are reminded of it? Once someone washed their glasses in front of me, and now even over a year later I think of them when I am washing my glasses. Washing my face because of some conversation where we talked face wash and two years later I think of them every morning when I wash my face.
When I see someone’s picture on Facebook and remember when I said something stupid to them and we had a discussion about it. Every face I see, every conversation I have I remember when I see you.
It can be pretty exhausting sometimes. The thoughts that go through my head when I have such a good memory. It is just the people I am closest to that I forget, and sadly enough with my family I forget too often.
Right now I am stressed because I have to see my doctor again on the 12th of December to renew my permission to have my drivers licence. He has no reason to take it away, but if he decides to, my life will literally be ruined. It will be dependent on commuter traffic. Long evenings waiting for trains after my daughter’s activities and a lot of explanations of why without no reason it would be taken away. It is probably just a formality. My new doctor is super diligent and is into following the rules (unlike my previous doctors that just sent me one in the post).
So the big story at The House That God Has Forgotten is reporting. Everyone gets called into their bosses room for conversations about something that was never a big deal before. It has now turned into a war via computer screen and typing words.
Which it shouldn’t be. We are not machines. Although everyone would like to think we are. Now while I have been home, I heard that another floor is going to have a meeting with us. Who knows what it is about. I wish I could say that I care, but I don’t. People are so easily “put down” in The House That God Has Forgotten, that it is almost entertaining. Will it be because not everyone is nice at the elevator? Really are we so worried about that?
Trust me. For us, it is like dealing out cardboards of food. It is boring. We do the same thing over and over again. Except for us, it is 5 people wanting us to deal out a cardboard box at the same time.
I do not sit here and say my job is harder than yours. You have to deal with inmates every day. We have to deal with our colleagues. It is two different worlds, but sometimes you can get on our nerves as easily as they get, and we get, on you.
I have a new attitude lately and it seems to be working for me lately. I have stopped caring. I do not care about what I have to do at work, I do not care about reports and meetings, I do not care about the working period.
Perhaps that is why I do not post in this series anymore. Maybe it is because I have stopped caring. Maybe it is because I have written 59 (yes..59!) different blog entries about where I work. I think everyone is about sick of hearing what I think, and maybe I am feeling pressure to write about this.
That the only time people read my blog is because they want to hear about where we work and what I think about it. But I am hopeful and am looking for a way out. I feel like I do not care, but I feel a lot of pressure too.
Pressure because of the shifts I work and how everyone understands, but are still bitter about it. I wish I could say that I chose for my life to be like the way it is now. That it is fun to wake up a 7-year-old too early in the morning to make it to school on time, and to get home after 17:30 in the evening (I work 9-15). That I spend 3 and a half hours a day in my car.
I hear all of the arguments. Move, (I am not rich and can afford to live on the other side of town…plus that would not be ideal to not see my wife). Move my daughter’s school (yes, because that is fair to take her away from all of her friends and where she feels safe, and then all of her activities are there, and then my ex would have to commute also). Work longer shifts (If I work from let’s say 9-16 then it would be just like 9-15 because I would have to take a lunch. And 9-16.30 with traffic I would never make it to when fritids closes)
The things we do for our children. I have tried to fix things the best I could. (asked my boss to go outside the schedule – no costs too much. She gave me the advice to work on the weekend I have her so I could be off during the week so someone else could be off. OR I could work 7 days in a row to make it happen, which is against the rules and would kill me literally).
So yes, I have tried. And I have stopped caring. I am looking for a new job. I am doing the best I can, but not everything is easy. Not that I am saying that it is simple for you. Because for none of you it is.
This is just my story.
I have tried to write this blog entry about three times now, which is very unlike me. Usually, things just come out of me without thinking about what to say, but now today it feels like I have to “try” to get the words on the screen. I know this will not be a good blog entry. I know that this will not get comments, or will awake the conscious of anyone.
I think from now on you will see a lot less of The House That God Has Forgotten. I just do not feel inspired because nothing is happening. I have covered it all. At least I think I have. I have begged more than once for ideas, for help, for tips on what to write about with little or no help.
So until I feel inspired, this series will not be so active and I instead will write about other things. My life, what I feel, and generally about what I want to.
This is my house.