Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood

[dohnt le mee beemis-uhn-der-stood]: Nina Simone was the first to record this song, releasing an orchestrated, downtempo rendition on her 1964 album Broadway-Blues-Ballads that nicked the US chart at #131. The best-known version is by The Animals, who reworked it into a rock song. Eric Burdon recalled in Rolling Stone magazine, “It was never considered pop material, but it somehow got passed on to us and we fell in love with it immediately.”

The House That God Has Forgotten part 74: Drawing you over like a comb.

I had a colleague come up to me a little while ago…and they were not happy. You see I talk about the administration a lot in The House That God Has Forgotten. I think my talk about long celebrations and coffee breaks DO NOT APPLY to EVERYONE that works in that corridor.

I see you sitting there long after I go home pouring over documents and working your ass off, but like everyone in this blog it is simple…if you feel hit by what I am saying against you then it is probably true.

In other words, if you work your ass off we KNOW it. Generalizations are used for one reason only. I do not use names. They ARE people I see taking that little longer lunch, or randomly lurking the corridor. It is THEM I am talking about, not YOU that DOES NOT do this.

Please don’t let me be misunderstood.

On to bigger and more interesting things. I think the work climate in The House That God Has Forgotten is a bit come and go. The roof is high and people joke. One person may be says something to me, and maybe I say it to another.

Call me strange, but sometimes like everyone else we say things we do not mean or other things that people we do not know (it could be something very harmless in one’s eyes) all of the sudden become a big thing.

I once used the word menopause and someone went off the hook. They got pissed and after an hour of cooling down, I went and apologized in front of everyone.

“I did not mean to offend you, I’m sorry” kind of talk.

“No no it is ok” they reply.

And the next thing you know you leave the room, they talk about how they should probably “report” me.

My wife says I have to watch what I say to people because maybe they take it badly.

Let’s get into the whole fact I have a wife. One guy came into where I work. There were three of us…

“Hello, girls, guys and you,” they said.

I being the “you”. It is a reference that I am not a girl or a guy because I am married to a woman. They have this stereotype that “one has to be the husband and the other a wife” Which is outdated and very strange to say to someone.

I am so used to the comments at work, I do not even care anymore. BUT a friend of mine work did get irritated by it. They said something to them and were pissed off.

I don’t know…maybe the whole gay thing doesn’t bother me because I am used to it. 

I have heard comments like “They do not have gays where I come from.” to the comments I get about me being an “it”. 

Should I be bothered by this? I do not know. I see all of this talk about how we in The House God Has Forgotten should be nice to gays, but a lot of these “old school” kind of people never will be. I feel like it is not my place to be the one to put them in the right place. 

Of course, I say stupid things too (like about menopause apparently), but should I be upset about such comments they make to me? Even when they are corrected they go to the person that was angry and told they asked if they were in a “bad mood” 

So what is the point? Maybe would let the little things go…I do not know. I would never report anything anyway. I have said too much fucked up stuff myself. So that leaves free fall to everyone where I am concerned. 

Another hot news is that in my group we are over one person so now someone has to go to the floor and work one PPA period. Everyone is all nervous about who is going to volunteer (or our boss is going to pick someone) and well, nothing against you all, but most or shall I say all of us are comfortable where we are working. 

So there is nothing against you that slave away on your floors every day, but I honestly cannot see myself going back to the fifth floor. Being there almost put me at a nervous breakdown. 

No seriously, my doctor had to prescribe anti-paranoia pills for schizophrenics for me to cope. (I still take those pills by the way) 

All of this talk makes me think…what on earth do I have for a diagnosis. It was interesting to find actually. I have:

Diagnos enl ICD-10:

F317 Bipolär sjukdom utan aktuella symtom

It makes me think about what is wrong with me and how lucky I am. That my medicines are working and that I am functioning with my illness. I wish sometimes however that people understood, just because I do not have symptoms now…It is always lying there under the surface waiting to come out. 

Journals talking about how at the moment I have “plans” and “no signs of being suicidal” 

I do remember being the complete opposite, that was no picnic.

Now back to the main point: it at least shows me how healthy I am working where I work. 

This was me on the 5th floor: Är just nu relativt pressad av sin arbetssituation där hennes pålitlighet och stabilitet ifrågasatts. 

So it is probably best that they leave me right where I am…right? I do not hope it comes down to me pulling out private medical journals to prove my point. 

There is some happiness at least in all the thoughts and worries at The House God Has Forgotten. 

On my way to the locker room, I saw a couple kiss each other after lunch. It is nice sometimes to see that some people have that excitement of coming into work during the day and after lunch. 

I also had two colleagues say thanks to me yesterday. We should give each other more praise to each other. 

Be it a crazy afternoon in the intake. Or that one person that was glad for observations on the way down from promenade. 

My kudos go out to the 10:1-2 part of the house and for their understanding that even an operator needs to pee sometimes…

So even though I always wonder why the sun never shines on The House God Has Forgotten (have you noticed that? No matter how sunny it is, it’s always dark walking into that place). 

Now I am going to leave you all behind for the weekend and enjoy the freedom of being away for a couple of days. Then I will have to worry once again if I am being misunderstood.  

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