[liv too tel]: This was one of Madonna’s first ballads. Early in her career, she relied on dance songs like “Lucky Star” and “Borderline,” but she has done very well with slow songs like “Take A Bow” and “This Used To Be My Playground.” It took her a few years to develop the vocal range for the ballads.

The House God Has Forgotten part 83: I will survive.

“The leaves are falling. The wind blows quietly in the darkness as we are living in the fall.”

Why does every newsletter (from where I live), or the monthly letter (from the school principal or the warden) start like this? 

I am going to spare you from this opening and just start rambling off about whatever I want or what is on my mind for the moment. 

Tomorrow is the big day. The day my wife meets her Cancer doctor. 11 in the morning she will meet her doctor and find out what is wrong with her. Feeling tired, 38-degree fever on and off, etc. She has put this off for months now. 

I keep it inside and silently have shortness of breath and pain in my chest (it has gotten better the past couple of days). I thought something else was wrong with me, but now I am pretty sure it is panic attacks. 

Constant panic attacks that have been happening for over a month. 

I hope it is just a virus, and not something else. That is what scares me. 

I had my talk with my boss about being sick 8 times this year. It was a good discussion. I feel closer to them. We talked long and hard about my illness. I told her how I was afraid to ride commuter trains because I wanted to jump on the tracks. How I used to drink a half litre vodka and lie on the floor in my apartment. 

Wanting to die and looking at my cats and thinking: “what happens if I leave, maybe no one will find them”

They listened, asked questions and we talked. I wrote them a mail later and told them how much I appreciated our talk. It meant a lot to me. I can only hope the next boss we have will be as understanding. 

I don’t want to seem all in love with the bosses at The House God Has Forgotten…but I do see that even though they make some of the craziest decisions, they are people too. 

I can share snus with them, talk about nails, powerpoints, hair, motorcycles and barbeque. I am social. I can even run into my boss after I was a disaster knowing my wife is seeing her Cancer doctor. 

But NO I do not agree with there choices or decisions quite often. 

I was wondering why yesterday they were all hanging out on the third floor when I was about to have my meeting with the HR person. (which was funny because we had a bit in common and we even made fun of team building together). 

Our meeting, I said both the good and bad. What I thought and was honest. I am an honest person and say what I think. I went around for almost a month stressing about hidden traps and this kind of thing. 

I write what I think here. The good, the bad and the ugly. So I talked to them like I would talk to anyone reading this blog. We talked the longest of anyone I think. I guess I had a lot on my mind. 

I forgot to mention how little we get paid. But now when I talked to my wife, she explained that there is nothing she can do about that…so well…I don’t feel as bad. 

I admitted I talk shit. Because I do. I have a blog. I am the biggest shit talker in The House God Has Forgotten. 

Well…we found out today we are getting a new boss. A bit of a shocking choice. But a new boss that is (hopefully) going to stick around. I hear different things so I guess that we will just have to wait and see. They have the same car as me, so that is kind of cool. 

Now the real big news. I knew as soon as one of the bosses came by on Monday that something was about to happen.

Masks to lawyers and police we were supposed to offer. Visitors being allowed only to come in fifteen minutes apart. 

Something was in the works. 

Then I come into work, and I see someone there. Not with a mask, but with a face shield. I about died at how crazy it looked. 

“It’s just you that has this right?” I asked.

“No everyone,” he replied. 

My jaw dropped. 

NOW?!?!

After Corona has been here for six months they decide to do this? Why didn’t they come up with this idea earlier? 

Taping off tables so people cannot sit next to each other (They did this at the local Sybilla in march) after all of this time?

What took them so long? 

I get that it came from the region, but still…I think it is a bit silly that we are going to have people visit now that are not lawyers and police, but family members…when we are taking such precautions now. 

They can drag in whatever and have no face masks or anything…give it to the inmates, and I promise you these face shields are not going to protect us (the brand name is Splash Guard). 

I am just really tired of Corona. It has gotten annoying. 

And the fact that The Department of Corrections came up with this idea now instead of six months ago…blows my mind. No matter what the new routines or rules the government has come up with, as soon as they started having people work from home they should have come up with these ideas! 

I have to slowly mantra to myself in The House God Has Forgotten:

“I will survive”

“I will survive”

“I will survive!” 

1 kap. Yttrandefriheten enligt denna grundlag

Syfte och grunder

1 §  Var och en är gentemot det allmänna tillförsäkrad rätt enligt denna grundlag att i ljudradio, tv och vissa liknande överföringar, offentliga uppspelningar ur en databas samt filmer, videogram, ljudupptagningar och andra tekniska upptagningar offentligen uttrycka tankar, åsikter och känslor och i övrigt lämna uppgifter i vilket ämne som helst.

Yttrandefriheten enligt denna grundlag har till ändamål att säkra ett fritt meningsutbyte, en fri och allsidig upplysning och ett fritt konstnärligt skapande. I den får inga andra begränsningar göras än de som följer av denna grundlag. Lag (2018:1802).

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