[Thee wawr-ee-er]: “When I saw the video, I was crestfallen,” Smyth said in the book I Want My MTV. “I had no idea it would look like an off-Broadway production of Cats.”
The House God Has Forgotten part 86: Moving on (for a little bit).
So here I am again. Lying on the sofa. Candles lit on the table. Google art flashing on the screen.
Well…I have some news for you all. I am sjukskriven. Three weeks, plus one and a half vacation.
So it will be awhile I will be back to The House God Has Forgotten. This is the first time I have been sick because of my illness, but to be honest I need a break.
I am plagued with up to four nightmares a week, chest pains here and there. The last few days total lack of focus and just generally fucked up.
“Acute stress” and “Unspecific Bipolar Disorder” are the reasons for my illness.
I am slightly irritated, take things harder than everyone else and is in a constant state of reflection about mixed emotions.
I guess rest is the best medicine, but I am stressed about the economy of the whole thing. Going down to technically eighty per cent of ninety per cent is a lot of money lost.
Everyone is telling me “Your health is worth more than money!” and my wife tells me we will make it okay, but the stress of money makes it not so easy to relax all the time.
So it is a big catch twenty-two the whole thing.
I don’t have to worry about calling in sick when I feel bad at least…I wish I would have done it on Friday.
I was lost on Friday. Tired. Headache. Inability to focus.
I had to log off because I felt so bad until I went to my physiatrist.
We sat. We talked. I told him everything on my mind, about how I feel. Things that are bothering me.
We had a discussion.
“Two weeks?” he said
“Three weeks,” I replied. “I do not think it is good for me to go into a tough part of the schedule direct after I am away from work.”
I made the mistake of telling my boss this because it became part of the discussion when I returned to The House God Has Forgotten.
“You know part of the thing is you have to work long days when you have so many nine to fifteen shifts”
“Yes. I know this. I am used to it, but Christmas week I work a ton of long days, it might be easier to go right into my routine when I come back.”
I should have kept my mouth shut and said: “I am sick for three weeks.”
So it didn’t become a whole thing.
So what are my plans while I am off? Writing. A whole lot of writing. So you will not be able to get rid of me just like that!
I have a little project in my head. Maybe not about The House God Has Forgotten…but writing yes.
It is relaxing. It is fun. I enjoy doing it. I do not have any time restrictions now. I can write in peace.
I need that right now. It was getting harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning (and still is), but hopefully, it will be better sometime soon.
So this is what is going on for now. A little break from what is going on at work. More of a blog about what is going on with me.
I hope you all understand this and will keep on reading! Like I said The House God Has Forgotten has not disappeared.
I will add my projects up here for you to read.