It was not the same shit again. For once, Tiffany had hope.
She started to get friends at least a friend: Samuel. Samuel had just moved to where she was going to school, so he did not have any friends.
She had a friend, but she never told him anything about her life. Not about Carl, not about Candice, or about where she lived.
It is embarrassing to tell someone you sleep on a dirty mattress and have barely any food in the trailer. It isn’t very comfortable to live in a trailer for that matter.
Candice finally kicked Carl out of the house. It took her four years, but things had changed.
She got sober.
That ended midnight drunken visits in the middle of the night from the alcoholic bastard.
Each time he went further and further. But the end of it all Tiffany had learned about sex more than anyone her age. More than anyone for that matter.
All the time, she told herself as she always does.
“Just take it.”
Once they had sex education in school. Tiffany was bored because she knew more than the teacher. The only lucky thing was that the farther things went, Carl started using a condom not to get her pregnant.
“Just in case.” he would tell her right before. “You never know when you will start bleeding or not.”
At first, she did not understand what he meant by that, until one day it came. That was her favourite time of the moth because Carl would leave her alone.
Samuel was different: he wanted to be her friend. The first person that wanted her around.
Candice did not get sober because she got some suspicion about what Carl did.
She got sober because she got pregnant again. She does not know who the father is (she was still fucking around for drugs even when she was with Carl).
“This time, it is a boy. They deserve the right to come into the world normal. Not like you” She would say all the time to Tiffany.
Candice got a job at the local liquor store as a cashier. Luckily no one had robbed the place as you see on TV.
Tiffany sometimes hoped she would get robbed. She fantasised that some drugged-out junkie (maybe even the baby’s father) would point the gun and scare the shit out of her.
Tiffany had Samuel as a friend at about the time Candice got pregnant.
Tiffany had clean clothes every day at school, and she would find more money in Candice’s pockets and buy some used clothes to wear to school.
That was working out well until one day when she came into school with a new shirt she had just bought.
“That was my old shirt!” one girl said, “Are you digging through my trash, you dirty druggie daughter?”
“My mother does not do drugs!” Tiffany would say defending Candice for some reason.
More dirt gets thrown on her—the same old same old.
She was used to it even more as the years had gone.
“Screw them!” Samuel would tell her when they did that.
He is a good friend. It was nice to have one friend.
Samuel is a little naive, though. He does not understand her life so well, so Tiffany does not tell him very much about hers. She leaves the drugs out of the past or the present telling him that Candice still smokes cigarettes while she is expecting the baby. No matter what pregnancy or not. Candice will never give up smoking cigarettes.
“I deserve one fucking pleasure in life if I fucking have to give every other fucking thing up!” she would say.
One day after school, Tiffany followed Samuel home from school. He had a house and a dog named “Robot” she never understood why someone would call a dog Robot.
“To each their own.” she thought.
“Oh the name!” he said, laughing “I liked playing with Robots when I was a little kid!”
Tiffany laughed with him. She cannot remember the last time she laughed at something.
“Go out, Robot!” he said while pointing at the door as he closed it behind it.
“I have got something to show you,” Samuel said seriously.
“It must be his computer, or something cool that he had in his room.” she thought.
As Tiffany was looking around the room, she eventually looked at Samuel, and his pants were down to his knees.
“I know girls like you love this…” he said while whipping out his penis and stroking it until it got hard. “Come on… look at it. It wants you!”
Tiffany ran out of the door and the house as fast as she could.
“Not again…” she thought.
The next day at school, Samuel went to the other boys in the class and told them Tiffany took her clothes off and begged him to have sex with her.
She knew then and there Samuel had found his way into the cool kids’ group.
There went to her friend.
He was gone like the wind.
A few months later, the baby came.
Candice named him Fredrick. Of course, as soon as Fredrick was born, she started using again.
Tiffany made it her mission to not let Fredrick not up having the same childhood she did. She gave him baths, fed him on time and changed his diapers. She even took the money out of her Candice’s’ pockets for new clothes for him.
The got more money on the food card now, so it was a lot easier to buy baby food and things made for him to eat. Tiffany learned more about what to eat and not to eat as she got older in school. It was a lot easier to fix the right kind of food for the baby.
Tiffany looks at the bright things she had someone who understood her. She had a brother, a soldier to fight against the battle of Candice.
Grandma would come during the day while Candice was sleeping. Tiffany was at school and could not take Fredrick, so grandma came by, so he was not there by himself.
Things were different because he was a boy. Tiffany was not jealous. She knew that he was better than she was nothing but “trash” the day she was born. Her mother could not even stop using when she was pregnant with her.
“Your mother was still taking that trash when you were in her stomach.” grandma would tell her often with her cigarette hanging out of her mouth.
Tiffany would often wonder “Why doesn’t she do the same for me?” but she already knew the answer to that question. He was a boy; she was a junkies daughter.
Grandma eventually took Fredrick full-time, so things went back to where they had been. Candice’s friends would come over and stay up all night. The trailer would have that smell she hated. The mixture of marijuana and whatever else they were smoking filled the air like a balloon.
Candice started losing her teeth and around this time. Tiffany would find them on the bathroom sink. She did not even care to put them in the trash. She had them out there like on display like a soldiers medals.
Tiffany would hear them talking when Candice wanted more drugs.
“I need a hit…” she would look over at one of the guys.
“I bet you are good at sucking dick with that mouth.” one of them would say “Give me a blowjob and I will hook you up.
Candice did not even care about going to her bedroom anymore. She would do it while he sat on the sofa in front of everyone.
Tiffany laid on her mattress and looked at the ceiling of her bedroom. It’s stained with water damage. Brown rings that became blurrier the closer that they came to the middle.
She felt so lonely. She didn’t have anyone to talk about kids things. No Fredrick to take care of anymore.
“Maybe I should just kill myself.” she thought.
Even if she tried to do that Candice would kick her ass because she would get less welfare money to spend on drugs.
She laid there and dreamed grandma would have taken her away too.
“Why didn’t she take me too?” she thought with tears in her eyes.
Candice was laughing in the hallway as she walked down to the bathroom.
She came out and looked into Tiffany’s room.
“Pack your shit. You’re moving, “Tiffany said, sounding more serious.
“Are we moving somewhere?” Tiffany asked hoping it was not to some junkies house or even worse with Carl.
“No, YOU are moving.” Candice said, “I am staying right here…”
Tiffany took a deep sigh and packed the few things she had. She grabbed her clothes and filled them in the plastic bag; she usually takes them to the laundry mat. She looked at the corner of the room at a little teddy bear that was the only toy she had that was not broken.
She walked out of her room.
“Maybe I am moving in with grandma,” she thought.
“Here,” Candice said, pushing Tiffany to a man with dark hair with a leather jacket and a moustache. “We should be even now. Plus you promised to pay me one-thousand.”
The man handed her one-thousand dollars and grabbed Tiffany by the arm.
“You’re coming with me, little girl.” He said with a half-smile on his face.